Day 32: I count every light until I reach the shore

One month sober. Three times in the past I have managed to get to around this stage: in late 2007 (with a secret slip-up on day 14), in a failed attempt to stop my boyfriend from leaving me; September 2009, on Antabuse, trying to keep my job on the local paper on the island (didn't work); and last summer, in a failed attempt to prevent my flatmates kicking me out. This time, I've lost the boyfriend, the flat and the job so am faced with the reality of doing it for myself (ie. the only way).

NA Keyring: What I'm in this for. Going to get an AA 'chip' on Saturday too.

I go round all day with the count in my head "31,31,31... 32,32,32". I'm not sure if this will ever stop (I heard a woman in an AA meeting 'share' that it was her 4000th day sober) but I need to be living rather than just passing time.

As the moon cycles come round again I am surer that I can do this but, as I have fallen at one-month several times, must not get too cocky.

The Organ - Memorize the City (Simon Bookish Remix)
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[I bloody love this song/remix and am annoyed I can't get the widget to work. Listen to it here: http://soundcloud.com/simonbookish/the-organ-memorize-the-city-simon-bookish-remix#]

INFINITE JEST: Pages 308-312 + dispatched the 16-page endnote like a motherfucker.