- My favourite didn't come back to the treatment centre today. He smoked some heroin at the weekend and discharged himself yesterday.
- On my way home I sat on a bench by the canal, reading Infinite Jest. Two lads with dreadlocks and long shorts were setting up a tightrope between two trees near the railway bridge. They called to me asking if I wanted a go, so I ran over and slipped off my shoes. "You could hold onto the tree or me, but the best thing to do is to use the power from your own push up to balance yourself," he told me. My legs quivered uncontrollably sending vibrations along rope and, as Central Line trains thundered above, I tried to keep my back straight and my eyes on the horizon. I fell almost immediately.
- I keep thinking about a Bloody Mary, a drink I rarely drunk. A Bloody Mary with plenty of vodka through a straw sitting outside a cafe by myself. But the thing is with cravings is that they pass: An hour later you wonder what that was all about.
INFINITE JEST: Pages 520-536
- More on the veil-wearing Union of the Hideously and Improbably Deformed (a kind of AA parody): "U.H.I.D allows members to be open about their essential need for concealment... they teach you how to accept your nonacceptance."
Impromtu tightrope walking never happens to me. Jealous
ReplyDeleteFong
I hoped I would be a Natural but no luck... x
ReplyDeleteI hate when you take days off...! I miss you! Was expecting to see you today too - double blow!
ReplyDeleteMy enthusiasm for posting personal stuff on the internet ebbs and flows...
ReplyDeleteI love, love, love walking on stilts and wonder if you would like it, too. I also wonder if I am still good at it (I was a natural! me, who is not a natural at ANYTHING physical! Yes, fnarr fnarr and all that.) now that I am Fat.
ReplyDeleteI am going to start a blog, inspired by this one (I know!) about eating and not eating. I am going to do this... erm, any day now. I am also going to buy, and learn to play, a ukulele. You didn't inspire that, exactly, but it may make it onto the blog.
You are being inspirational! Check you out!
As a matter of fact, when I was a teenager I performed on stilts as part of a modern dance extravaganza! Had totally forgotten about this! I have always been fairly physically brave / foolhardy which I think helped be able to to this. It's fun, huh?
ReplyDeleteLet me know the blog address, MKG. I'm pretty conflicted about this one right now: is it an outlet or a burden or an indulgence? Maybe you could include a video of you playing self-penned song about food?
Hah! That would definitely be overkill, I fear. :)
ReplyDeleteStiltwalking is indeed fantastic and I'd love to do it again. Such a rush, being so much taller, and having to keep moving to stay upright, but also feeling grand and sweeping and in control. Heady stuff. And yes re: foolhardy, etc. I love heights and being up high. I wonder if I've lost my nerve a bit since B was born - I certainly cry more about *everything*, specially if it involves a parent or child being separated, harmed, poor, sick, dead.... But I still want to leap off high places with a big parachute.
It's a summer project (the blog, food thoughts AND the Uke) but I will keep you updated. I have a worky blog which I need to resurrect as I get further into this dissertation, too. I think a low-stakes blog about food and learning an instrument might be a nice easing-back-into-blogging process.